I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
