Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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