Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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