umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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