Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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