how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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