me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
