they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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