Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
