I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
