hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Duck Duck Cougar?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
