32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
