It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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