Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize