dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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