there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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