No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
