Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
