God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
