Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
