We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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