He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
