Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
