U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we're making bets on your personal life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
