hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
