I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
