So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
