I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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