You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
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Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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