Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
