i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
