Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
