3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize