Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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