What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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