My sheets look like a crime scene.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize