At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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