problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
