who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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