She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
