I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
