gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
