He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
