Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
