Nicole vs. Life
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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