I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize