I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
