Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
