they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
