Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
