so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
