Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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