when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
