just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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