she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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