I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
