do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
