Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
