I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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