Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
