you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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