There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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