He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
