**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
